


No Little Red Riding Hoods Were Harmed In The Making Of This Story

by thegreatersea



Category: Parahumans Series - Wildbow
Genre: Fairy Tale Elements, Fic Trade, Gen, I tried and therefore nobody can criticize me, One-Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27328126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatersea/pseuds/thegreatersea
Summary: With the rest of the Undersiders unavailable, Taylor asks Rachel to deliver a little care package to Lisa. Brockton Bay may not be the woods, but you still need to watch out for wolves.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	No Little Red Riding Hoods Were Harmed In The Making Of This Story

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RecursiveMontage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RecursiveMontage/gifts).



Once upon a time, there was a young woman who was beloved by all who bothered to get to know her. Greatest of these loves was another young woman named Lisa, who did all she could to make sure the young woman had everything she needed in life. Once, Lisa helped the young woman rescue three dogs, who she trained to be fearsome and protective in turn, leading everyone to call her Hellhound.

“That’s a stupid name. Call me Bitch.”

One day Taylor, another young woman who cared deeply for... Bitch, gave her a request and a small package.

“So Lisa and the boss apparently had an argument, and while the rest of us are tied up I’d appreciate it if you could get these headache pills to her. The big problem is she’s currently holed up in a hotel on the other side of E88 territory. The hotel seems to be independent though, and I called ahead so the staff and Lisa know you’ll be there. I know you can take care of yourself, but none of us will be able to back you up for a while. Get in, get those to Lisa, then get out.”

Bitch promised she would, offering a sharp nod, and Taylor left her to it. And so Bitch stashed the package in one of her coat’s many pockets, retrieved a set of collars and leashes, and whistled. The first to arrive was Angelica, a terrier with a white coat and brown patches. Then came Brutus, a Rottweiler with a stubby little tail, and the German shepherd Judas hot on his heels. As soon as all three were set, Bitch made her way across town.

\---

Bitch made it about halfway through E88 territory without talking to anyone. Three dogs was enough to warn away most people, and her suitably intimidating expression worked on the rest. But eventually she came across three who decided to speak with her. The first was a man, stocky, with a barrel chest and unkempt blond hair, and his blue eyes looked at Bitch with an intensity at odds with the seeming ease with which he stood in front of her, one hand braced against a nearby building to block her way. Another man leaned against the same wall, this one muscular in a way that was almost uncomfortable to look at and pale, and next to him was a blond woman with a buzz cut, wiry and lean.

“Well hello there, little lady,” said the blond man. “What are you doing on such a nice day?”

“Walking my dogs,” said Bitch with her usual cheer.

“So I see, so I see. And what a lovely coat! Probably got all sorts of things stashed away in there.”

“Not carrying any money. Just walking my dogs.”

All three straightened up at this, the blond man doing his best to loom. “Now don’t go making any _assumptions_ there, not everyone is so understanding.”

Bitch twitched her wrist, briefly tugging on her leashes. Angelica, Brutus, and Judas started shrinking back and whimpering just how she trained them. Then she said, “Stop that. You’re scaring my dogs.”

The blond man backed off, glancing at his companions. “Well, we wouldn’t want that. Just be careful, little lady. Next person you meet might not be as nice as us.”

Bitch carefully knelt down and comforted her dogs. When she glanced back up at the three who accosted her, they were nowhere to be seen. She stood back up and continued on her way to Lisa, and all the people she saw looked just that little bit more unfriendly than before.

\---

Meanwhile, Hookwolf, Stormtiger, and Cricket had moved to the rooftops to keep an eye on their new acquaintance.

Stormtiger spoke first. “So that was definitely Bitch, right?”

“Three dogs, rude as hell, walking around like she owns the place? Yeah, that’s her,” said Hookwolf. “The question is, where is she going? If we’re going to send a proper message, we need to hit before she’s gone.”

“Viewpoint,” said Cricket, looking away from the others.

“I mean, yes, that’s why we got up here in the first--”

“She’s going to Viewpoint _Hotel_ , Hookwolf.”

“Oh? That makes this easier.”

“Are they one of ours?” said Stormtiger.

“Not outright, but they’re fairly easy to convince to look the other way. If we tag Bitch on her way back outside, nobody who matters will care. Now let’s get set up.”

\---

Meanwhile, Bitch and her dogs arrived in good haste at the hotel where Lisa was resting. Upon walking through the doors, she marched right up to the desk.

“Friend of Lisa’s, have her headache meds. Taylor said she called ahead.”

The man at the desk was a friendly sort with a Teflon disposition, and took Bitch’s reticence in stride. “Ah yes, we had a key set aside for you. Please go right on up, she’s two floors up in the very last room on the left. And I hope the medicine helps, that young woman looked rather under the weather.”

“Thanks,” said Bitch. And with the pleasantries taken care of, she took her dogs over to the elevator. Two floors later the doors dinged open, and Bitch stepped down the hall. Instead of her usual gait she kept her steps light, the better to avoid making Lisa’s headache any worse. Reaching the door, she tapped the key against the reader and waited for the telltale click before easing the door open. Ushering her dogs inside, she shut the door and turned around.

She expected to see Lisa curled up in a ball on the couch. Instead she heard a shriek of metal upon metal as Hookwolf crouched before her, while back against the wall Stormtiger and Cricket held a thoroughly miserable Lisa.

From within his wolf-shaped helmet, Hookwolf’s voice rang out. “You know, I originally just planned on roughing you up some. You needed to understand just how stupid you were to keep messing with my dogs, and this was just too easy. But then you decided to make things even easier by leading us right to this little morsel,” said Hookwolf. He chuckled, an awful echoing, grinding, buzzing sound.

Then the chuckle cut off as the buzzing grew louder, and Hookwolf, Stormtiger, and Cricket went very still. In through the door walked Taylor, and as she did all the little crawling, flying, and stinging insects came skittering from every nook and cranny of the hotel room.

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. This is exactly the kind of harebrained scheme I’d expect from the Empire,” said Taylor. “Now, you have two options here. Option one, you let all of us walk out of here. You three stay here, and when I let you go you’re all free to go about your business. I’m sure Kaiser has more important things for you to be doing.”

Hookwolf growled, but stayed where he was. “And option two?”

“Option two is where I take out the three of you and we walk out of here anyway. You might be fast, but I guarantee my insects are faster. If you really want to, I’m fine with seeing just how many venoms you can handle. But something tells me you want to do the smart thing.”

And oh, did Hookwolf _howl_ , knowing he was beaten. “Just-- just get out already.”

Lisa hobbled over to lean on Taylor, and Bitch led the way out. They headed back down the hallway, down the elevator, and out the front doors, tossing the keys to the man at the desk as they went. Once they made it a reasonable distance away from the hotel, Taylor spoke up.

“Alright, let’s head to a cafe so Lisa can finally take her pills. We can call Brian for a pickup from there. I don’t know about the two of you, but I’m done for the day.”

And Bitch, Talyor and Lisa’s beloved Hellhound, agreed.

“Sure. But they better have pup cups.”


End file.
